Monday, December 29, 2008


from childhood,
we are taught our RIGHTS,
our right from our left,
and most importantly right from wrong.
we are taught the difference between the good and the bad,
a clear distinction made between the two, with no grey areas.

from childhood,
we are asked to make choices, the RIGHT choices.
and from lessons learnt from life, we know 100% which choices to make (80% of the time)

we know not to be rude,
not to have feelings for a certain somebody
not to drink, smoke, gamble


we have little chance against falling,
we have no choice.

why is it not as simple as that.
why is it hard, difficult, sometimes even impossible.


is it cos of certain circumstances? 
the irony of choice is that sometimes there are no choices,
just illusions of choices. 

sometimes we think we have choices,

loving and not loving, wanting and not wanting, giving and not giving...

most times we dont.

isnt that why we 
take what we shouldnt have, 
love who we shouldnt love

isnt that why we make so called wrong choices, because we never really had choices. 
isnt that why we all have made wrong choices at some points in life because we're all subject to this. 
we ackowledge and regret it, but we enjoyed it all the same. 
that moment of wrong doing, thinking ... (when the classy uptown chic falls for the scruffy downtown hustler..)

and thinking about it, 
given the same circumstances again, we would make that same choice, 
maybe we never really have options or choices,

just illusions.
and if there were choices or options, 
maybe the wrong ones were more enticing, attractive ... 
(why do good girls like bad guys, why do people lie, cheat, steal, gamble???)  

the illuison of choices, 
the irony of life or the weakness an denial of man?

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Aedh Wishes for the Clothes of Heaven

been quite a bit, i stumbled over this poem and i tot to share it wit u!

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths, 
Enwrought with golden and silver light, 
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths 
Of night and light and the half light, 
I would spread the cloths under your feet: 
But I, being poor, have only my dreams; 
I have spread my dreams under your feet; 
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

by William Butler Yeats

Sunday, November 30, 2008




I have a confession to make...

And like every other confession there has to be someone talking and at least someone listening.


I grew up a very reserved person, what that means is that I spent most of my time in my own head rather than outside it.

I used to ‘brood’ a lot, thinking ... not like when you're stuck and need a solution or when you have a deadline to meet, but thinking...

With no particular pattern, just drifting... from one thing to the other


And I must say here that I actually did enjoy it, the best times I had was time spent by myself in my head cos I’d find all the answers I needed right there, without any help or assistance.

To me it was beautiful, and then things changed a bit.


While maybe just sitting by myself, something would happen or someone would say something and it'll change the course of my drift or thought.

Then I’d wonder and think to myself, huh?


Huh? here represents no particular thing or question, rather it represents  a series of questions and the only question I wound up asking myself would always be...

‘What was he or she thinking when he said that or what must have caused that?’ It became so much a thing for me, not thinking what the person had said but rather why the person had said it.

It became a case of figuring "how deep the rabbit hole went".


Now, with this I started drifting from randomly thinking about nothing in particular, to pondering about how people thought, 'or think'.

Now I spent more time in other people’s heads than in mine, and you'd be surprised how complicated things got, or maybe not.


The best way to describe the feeling is this.

Imagine you having to wear other people’s shoes in other to know where exactly it pinches; maybe that’s not descriptive enough.

Imagine standing where people stand, exactly where they stand in order to view things 'or life' from their perspective. 'Exactly their perspective', no bias or prejudice


With that, you could understand their actions per time, know the reasons for certain actions they took, etcetera

You could even predict their moves, you know! Think a couple of steps ahead of them and you could write a play and have them act it out, ‘believe me, very interesting’

You could be the architect of 'other peoples lives' if I’m permitted to use that phrase.


In my cause to figure out why people do what they do, I had to pick up certain skills like reading their actions, their gestures, body language and all. I needed all that because people lie a lot, and you can’t actually walk up to someone and ask ‘why did you do that, or why did you say that?’.

You have to just catch the details yourself, and the good thing is that humans are naturally ‘radio-active’. We emit information about ourselves constantly, you can tell what’s on someone’s mind just by the way the person sits or stands or walks etcetera.


Ok now, why this is a confession is because it became a thing for me, it became a part of my subconscious, picking up every little detail even without knowing it.  

My mind would just store up the info for future use

Don’t get it wrong, it’s not like you just hang around doing nothing but watch other people, but you live life like everyone else. The thing that makes you different is the fact that you pay more attention to detail, a lot more attention! And this helps you generally, even at work or school cos to you, every detail counts. ‘you could say just like Schofield in prison break, which is a favourite to me by the way’.

In the scheme of things, you’d get to see how people really are, you’d get to really know how they feel , which is dangerous cos you could get entangled in them ‘fall for them’ – this breaks a very serious rule ‘never get emotionally tied to anyone’ cos it compromises your judgement.

Lol! I broke a lot of that rule, cos when you get into someone’s head and you see how beautiful their mind is, you can’t help but fall. I had to put that in check though.

.................................................. ............


Some years back, I and a friend were just chillin, when a girl so fine walked past. Like boy usually do when bored or not, he (my friend) goes like this ‘I dare you to be best pals with that girl before the end of the week!’.

It was a Wednesday...

And as u might have guessed, am not a sucker! So I took up the challenge. It wasn’t so hard then, being that it was just secondary school. To her it was just a stroke of luck that we met, to me ... It was a well executed plan.

.................................................... .................

Since then, meeting or hooking up with people became more of a game, if not entirely a game. The whole ritual of meeting naturally and being friends didn’t just do it for me. I started to enjoy the chase more than the catch!

So I’d catch and let back into the wild, all this happening with the catch not having an idea of what just happened.

So now am asking a question, what you don’t know can’t kill you right? And even when you find out, you really won’t believe someone set you up so good, you didn’t even have an idea.

What do you think?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

There's always a first time

theres a first time for everything.
this is my first blog hehe, and am quite excited really.