Saturday, January 17, 2009

been a bit, hasnt it?

recently relocated from lagos, and have been having some difficulties really gettin maself to write smthin.
instead i find maself readin other peeps posts. one of ma favs being tishas cos u neva knw wat to expect from her. lol!
i tink shes cute, with the way shes so honest and all, and the way she goes on about...

anywayz...

right now, as im writin this post i got like a hundred kids jumpin up and down ma head bumpin into me with balloons n stuff.

all dis oyinbo kids sef, i tire for dem o.

its ma nieces 5th buffday and she got sm kids over from her skool and church n stuff.

been watchin 'em like.. "if u like kil ya self"

the boys decided to play soccer in the garden, and am like .."its freezin cold out there!" not like am a wimp or anything but am there in the kitchen making a hot cup of ginger and lemon tea with honey, and a bunch of kids r kickin sm ball around in d cold. (WAT!)

na wa o. 

two minutes later i noticed one of 'em walks past me, no hi, hello, .. nothin.
then the second.. and i realised sm was wrong so am like

me: anything wrong
kid: yeah i got a pass and i wanted to curve the pass back to ma brova then......

aparently, in his bid to kick or curve the pass or ball or wateva,
he kicked d ball into the garden of neighbours on d right (they got like three dogs) and his shoe came off and  flew into the garden of the neighbours on d left.

how he achieved that, i will neva know!

am sure sm of u wonderin wat i did at this point, well..

three dogs on the right and a grumpy old man on the left?

u thought correctly!

i made maself sm toast to go with ma tea.
yum yum!


like half an hour b4 that, she (ma niece) decides to take em on tour of her house right! to her room and her folks room and decides to make a last stop at mine.
she didnt knock!

there i was mindin ma own bizniz right, just got out of d shower dryin up n stuff!
all of a sudden a bunch of kids pop into d room.

how do u handle stuff like dat? really!

back in naija...
dats wat u call a legit ass whoppin!
for oyinbo land... man! aint ready to have a sleep-in at a police station.

expected dem kids to b traumatised, u know! seeing wat they saw n all, but no..

they're like "oh! sorrrryy! hey lets go get candy yayyyy!"
in d end, i was the one traumatised cos dem kids no even send me sha..

u know its one thing to be ignored by ur mates like ur not there, but for 5 year olds to ignore me like dat...
i admit it hurt a bit, had a tear drop down ma eye...

anyway sha, will try to update u'all on ma escapades n stuff...
gotta go c if tishas got any new post.

c ya

34 comments:

musco said...

there's no place like home!

1st time here.

Severus Snape said...

Children...!
Hmmm, there really is no place like home...

rayo said...

they just make me feel lyk tearing my hair out at times. at least u survived them. lol

NoLimit said...

lol @ "i made maself sm toast to go with ma tea.yum yum!"
Haba uncle!!!
You'll be fine...homesickness etc comes with the territory...you'll soon snap out of it that's certain!

Tiwa said...

lol..dt wz funny. tru, oyinbo kids do not send at all! they're like mini adults in their own world but..uncle! after d boy poured out his troubled heart to u..."made urself some toast to go with your tea"!lol

thnx 4 dropping by d blog but u still have to expanciate on ur comment..

Abujamaiden said...

U traumatised the kids? LOL!

First time here (via ur comment on Tiwa's)...hopefully u'd update often and I'll be back.

Chari said...

lmao!!!!! oga easy o..i feel ur pain mahn but u b wicked uncle o! ahnahn!

Afrobabe said...

lmao...u had a tear cos u felt ignored....by 5 yr olds...lol...thank God they didnt tell u some home truths about ur parts...

kai, children...my husband to be (when I find him) beter like them cos I will leave them to him...

Afrobabe said...

and yes, I think Tisha is really cute too...

Buttercup said...

Haha! Ouch..

Hope u r settling in nicely?

Geebee said...

Eya. Missing home already shey? I have never been out of Naija (well I went to Cotonou once to buy shoes) even though I have a British birth certificate and baby pictures that show me I was born in the U.K. Nonetheless, I can't imagine the feeling of leaving this country I have known all my life to settle somewhere a thousand miles away. I bet it'll take a little while to adjust. Hope you do settle in nicely in no time.

As for the kids, you just can't possibly hate them. I have loved kids since I was a kid and especially since my daughter came along. Kids! They are a bunch of red boils you seem to enjoy having around even though they make you feel uncomfortable a lotta times.

seamstress said...

oyimbo kids don't flinch at anything!!!!

Funny post...1st time here

flabby said...

haha- the making toast thing was jokes!!

teebay said...

@musco .. ur rite, no place like home. tanks for stoppin by.
@severus snapes.. yeah there really is no place like home (said dat b4 didnt i?! dejavu)
@rayo.. yeahhhh they do, but ma niece has this look dat make ur frustrations dissolve. really! like puss in boots (shrek. donno if u watched it.)
@nolimit... omo! man gats to eat na! i cant shout! and tanks am gettin used to the system.
@tiwa... yeah i'l tell u in ma next post about sm of ma other experiences wit dis oyinbo kids. and seems like u dont like me, make dog chop me abi?
@abjmaiden... THEY TRAUMATISED ME!!! tanks for droppin by
@chari... aw na? wetin i do? there were 3 dogs, and u sabi aw dis old oyinbo ppl b na!
@afrobabe... wat truths?? o wait a sec.. mayb they tot it was one of those long party balloons. hmmmm.. now i knw!! and yeah shes cute and 'innocent' the way she talks..
@buttercup.. am tryin ooo. i guess i need to make friends, any help is welcomed!
@geebee... wow! wat can i say? no place like home! and err... i do ....like ..kids. ("red boils" lol!)
@seamstress.. oyinbo kids r gangsta!! yay! tanks for droppin by.
@flabby... I WAS HUNGRY. really!

Afrobabe said...

Long ballon?? hmmmmmm...do I read some self promotion....(one eye raised naija style)

Ms.O said...

Lol...I love children! Thier lil antics make them even better! Sorry for them ignoring you, maybe its coz you didn't help them get their ball and shoe back! Hope your settling well.

First time here..(i think) thanx for stopping by mine!

aloted said...

first time here and i enjoyed this post..lol...
so where did u relocate to?

lol @oyinbo kids..

rayo said...

ha, u fell for the look, i can't believe that, he very cute ones all have it. after a while trust me u will realise that won't help.

Padosh said...

LMAO!!! Kids traumatizing you that was d funniest part...like ur blog first time here

Padosh said...

Im amazed one didnt come and point asking TT wats that??? wat does it do??

teebay said...

@afrobabe... self promotion ke!! (dont blow ma own trumpet but u knw wat a hot shower does! causes tings to expand lol!)
@Ms.O... help dem wit thier ball, kai! na dem dog go chop no b me. and tanks for droppin by.
@aloted... tanks 4 stoppin by. relcatd2 london.
@rayo... yea! d lil rascals broke me down wit 'D LOOK'
@padosh... yes o, dem scatter ma machismo, brought me down to earth... tanks for droppin by. (about pointin and askin.. wld hav said it was an elephants trunk and it works wonders)stopped by ur blog and ur one heck of a chic. wdnt want to run into u in a dark alley

Olufunke said...

Na so we see am o.....oyinbo children
and I see my generation's childdren in Naija gradually becoming like oyinbo children....we're fast becoming westernized and imbibing all sorts.

Sorry for you o.....the children just no send you.
Did u look like you fought a lion? :-)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

hahahaha. So the kids weren't um, shall we say, impressed?

lol!

Nice post!

Tiwa said...

err...do we get an update anytime soon?

n i jus had to note that the word "garri" came up on the word verification thingy..hmmm...lol

Buttercup said...

Hey totally traumatized taurean, u've been tagged! Check my blog for details

mike said...

Oga, this post is very good. What inspires you?

doug said...

hahaha! The kids ignored you! Buahahahahahahahahaha!!! [ahem!]

Sorry. So you're in the UK to stay? Try to have fun dude. You know what they say about living in Rome...

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Your hilarious! Ignored by 5 year olds? *Gasp* The horror! LOL
Gotta love kids...
First time here...thanks for stopping by my blog!!

LIL WOMAN said...

u ignored the kids first! u didnt try to help in getting d lil dude's shoe back. well, i have a fear of dogs, so i probably wud have done same. anyway, get used to it, Oyinbo kids do not suck up to adults the way naija kids are brought up to.

teebay said...

@olufunke... true true. i think we still discipline our kids more.
@solomonsydelle... hey! wats dat? ofcourse they were, just didnt show it.
@tiwa.. update? err.. yeah workin on dat! an oh, i customised d garri tingy.
@buttercup... tagged!!!
@mike... wat inspires me? r u mocking me? lol!
@doug... stop laughin man! hurtin ma feelin. lol, tanks
@nigeriandramaqueen... yea u shd av seen dem lil rascals. tanks4stoppin by. ur blogs gangsta if i must say, luv it.
@lil woman.. i didnt throw d shoe, y shd i get it bak? not droppin ma tea 4 noooobody. tanks 4 stoppin by

deola said...

Don't make me laugh mista!

Uzezi said...

these days kids are born adults who are wiser than real adults.

the only person who doesnt miss home is that who has no one, and nothing to return to. no memories whatsover

THE SECRET DIARY (TheSecretDiary) said...

good post

teebay said...

@deola.. err.. okay!?
@uzezi.. na so we c am o. tanks for stoppin by
@secretdiary.. tanks