Saturday, February 7, 2009


hey peeps, wata goan???


its been a while since ma last post man!
never tot it'l b like dis... u knw...
with the hustle and bustle of acada life (again!!)
just had ma first few week of lectures and it all went down pretty well too. (big surprise there!! i was neva an acada person back in d day)

i promised myself i wasnt steppin into any higher institution ever again!!

yeah! (didnt keep that one)

talkin about skool brings back memories

i did ma first degree in naija, crazy as hell.
it was a private university though.

pretty kool, quiet, clean, peaceful,...
but u knw d tin wit all dis naija missionary skools ehn..
take shit a bit too far if u knw wat i mean.
na only God go help us.

am sure some of u been wonderin wat i'v been up to, yeah! (maybe not!)

well its been weeks of mixed feelings and reactions.
nothin much has been happening, really!

my niece who was overly excited wen i got here, seems to have moved on. i can say again and confidently now that 'she no send me again, not one bit!'

she no send if i dey house or i no dey. na only wen i dey chow ice lollies, ice cream,.. she go remember say she get uncle.

i remember her mom tellin me to help pick her up from school one day,

mom: hey TT could you help me pick up lil_one from skool?

me wey neva spend reach one month for hia

TT: em.. sure no probs, lemme just print directions from google maps.
mom: aww cmon, its just up the road

of which i learnt the hard way, wasnt really up the road.

TT: are u sure, cos u knw i never been there on my own b4.
mom: oh no, u cant miss it.

no probs na.

na so i gree o.
and truly, i took the short cut i knew and within 5 mins i was there.
got d lil_gurl and a friend of hers who lived just down the road from us. na so the pikin dem eff me up o.

pikin: em can we take the normal route?
TT: why, u dont like the other one?
pikin: no, prefer the normal route

which one b my own, no b make dem reach house,
na so we waka o,
been walkin for like some 5 minutes, freezin ma ass off

pikin: em.. where r we goin?
TT: err.. home, where else?
pikin: i think u missed the turning!

imagine, a whole me, full grown man with biabia.
looked around and ALAS! i don loss o 
(every freakin road in london looked d same man! no b lagos wey every house na different design and colour)

and so it wont seem i didnt knw wasup, decided to use a trick i learnt from ma teachers in sec skool.

u kwn wen u ask a question they dont knw, and instead of admitting they dont, they throw it back at u!

TT: wat u mean i missed a turning, ok if it was u where would u go now?
pikin: i think we shd cross the road and take the next turning! that road leads back in!
TT: i knew dat, just wanted to see how smart u guys are.

(omo i follow d directions. b4 nko! me wey don loss. just dey pray make d pikin sabi road cos... dem go just show us for bbc)

u know all those kids they show on nta, imagine make dem come show me.
bbc: dis man and two kids were found roaming the streets of london, apparently they got lost and cdnt find their way home! d male speaks english and pidjin fluently...

but man!

i'v had my own share of gettin lost o.
most recent one being just some days ago when i went out with a friend from naija, who apparently is in d same uni as me.
she wanted to get some bed spreads, pillows, duvee...
u knw, d normal tins u need so u dont freeze in d subzero temperatures of d night.
so i wan form say me sef na london boi, say i sabi road wella.

man! dis one no b beans o..
i got dis chic to d shoppin center around 6pm, (left home a bit late).
did d whole shoppin within 40 mins.
took a bus goin back to her house, imagine dis gurl no sabi whr her busstop dey again o.
smthin dat shd have been 1 bus and shd have taken 30 mins, on my last count we had entered like 4 different buses.

i remember entering the same bus like twice..
with 3 big bags and frozen feet, with me partly carrying her, we eventually got to her house o.
and i still had to get to ma own house too..


skools goin on pretty well sha,
ma class fairly large, with like 80% of dem being indians...
man! smtimes u think ur in india, d way dem go just dey yarn dey go, lecturer or no lecturer. and man!
dem garlic breath na die. attended and indian skool for 3years back in d day in moscow but u can neva get used to dat smell please..

got a handfull of studying to do man! got snowed in for two days, lectures got cancelled and dat means double trouble for us.
imagine make d whole country come to stand still cos of 5 inches of snow, was freakin disappointed with all d mouth wey dem get.

tisk tisk.

well talkin of studying, i gats to get back to ma studies man!
will holla soon enuff


Afrobabe said...

Lmao...i got sooooooo lost when I movedinto a new place too and ended up taking 3 buses instead of one plus didnt recognize my stop till I had passed it and had to walk back...20 mins trip turned to an hour....was carrying naija food shopping which is always very heavy and almost threw it all away at one point, got home so tired I slept off without eating that night and asked mysef for the millionateth time what I was doing in uk....

No funny at allllll..

lmao @ he speaks fluent pidgin...

Afrobabe said...

Oh yeah, how could I off to church, I am sooooo late...

seamstress said...

Hahahahah..welcome to Jand!!

I once took the tube in the opposite direction..chai!! i have never suffered so much, it was so cold i wanted to cry :)

lol@ you are your indian mates..pele

Smaragd said...


omo, this post na long thing o! and it's only normal to get lost at least once in a new place...

the snow eh? saw that on CNN.

Buttercup said...

hahahaha..ur niece seems to be quite a character..

lol..thank God she knew her way o..appearing on bbc wudnt have been a lovely option..hehe

nawa for ur friend she new there too or what?

good that school's going ok..keepirup!!!

doug said...

ROTFLMAO!!!! Don't think I've read anything quite so hilarious in a bit.LOL. How many people actually like ACADA life ? lol
Goood luck with it sha

Chi-Chi said...

hahah u are so right...

i taut school being canceled in jand and the rest was just an excuse for the little snow that fell lol

neways yaa i hate being new to new places and getting lost..
just like wen i started in my uni, i wld walk half of my campus in 30mins before i got to the 10 mins destination..hiss

teebay said...

@afro.. yes o. had 3 big bags stuffed with pillows, duvee, sm hangers. after like 1hr in d cold, contemplated just lookin for one corner to sleep.
@seams.. opposite direction.. lol! almost fell for dat one.
@smaragd.. na long tin o, no b small.
@butter.. tank God for dem kids o. yeah ma friend na jjc, no mind am. "alakoba"
@doug.. tanks man!
@chi chi.. lol! hope u can find ur way around now sha!

mike said...

eya!! sorry!! which of the private universities did you attend and how did you survive? No mind the Indians na their toothpaste be garlic. Wen dey shake your hand self na so so garlic. talking from experience. good luck.


Abujamaiden said...

johnny just land abi?

appearing on bbc would not have been funny.

how far?

wordmerchant said... laughing because i got so lost once i left london and entered kent!! It was so cold i thought my tootsies would fall off...i called everyone on my phone list that night...was so happy to see my front door.

This is really

theicequeen said...

bbc: dis man and two kids were found roaming the streets of london, apparently they got lost and cdnt find their way home! d male speaks english and pidjin fluently...


hilarious post!! lolz..u said u did a stint in moscow? speak any russian??

teebay said...

@mike.. attended cu. aw i survived?? by being there like i wasnt!
@abjmaiden.. blive me it wouldnt. imagine ma peeps back home seeing me!
@word.. so am not d only one!? phewww!
@icequeen... da! i remember only 3 words lol! wish i knew more.

Emeka Amakeze said...

Simply hilarious. Those kids for carry you shine.

Buttercup said...

just checking on u! hope u've not gotten missing o..i havent seen u on BBC so i doubt it..

Afrobabe said...

Remembered this post yesterday and couldn't stop laughing

teebay said...

am kool o, just hanging in there, hopefully shd have time after dis semester to blog again